Late in the evening on the Fourth of July, word circulated that a 20-year-old Butte woman turned herself in to police for the hit-and-run death of 23-year-old Austin Nieves the night before.

By all accounts, Austin was one of those guys who was just special. His friends all adored him, and the community is devastated by his senseless death that came just minutes after the fireworks celebration on Big Butte.

At a party with family, friends and friends of family, the immediate reaction was to feel sorry for the young woman whose life will never be the same.

While Austin’s life was ended, the driver’s life was ruined. She could be headed to prison, and she will have to live with unimaginable guilt forever.

Part of the reaction I saw at the party comes from the fact that so many of us can so easily put ourselves in the shoes of the driver in that situation. It is much easier to identify with her than the victim because we can actually see ourselves doing exactly what she did.

We don’t know if the driver was drunk or distracted — or both. So many, though, quickly jumped to that conclusion because drunk driving, as sad as it is to say, is still something that is so very common in our society. 

Also, so many people on the Butte hill celebrating the fireworks that night drove home after drinking. We know it. It happens every year, and we just accept it. The police can’t catch them all. Not even close.

The truth is, the driver of that Jeep that took down Austin is also a victim. She is a victim of a society that turned something that should be totally taboo into something that we all just do sometimes.

Driving drunk is a learned behavior that we pass on from generation to generation. That is a simple and sad truth.

We have to do better than that. We must do better than that.

Sadly, the tragedy of July 3 is so reminiscent of the one that claimed the life of 14-year-old Mariah McCarthy in October of 2007.

Mariah was run down by an underage drunk driver while she walked with two friends, who were also hit, on a walking trail alongside Blacktail Lane. The girls were heading home after walking some friends halfway home following a night of watching movies.

Mariah’s father, Leo, started Mariah’s Challenge, kind of by accident, with a powerful eulogy of his daughter at her funeral. 

A couple of years after that funeral, Leo gave me a photocopy of the eulogy that he wrote on a yellow legal pad. I was blown away when I saw his edits of that speech.

Leo wrote that he forgave the driver who killed his daughter the moment young Mariah closed her eyes for the final time.

Then, Leo heard from a man who pulled up on the scene and saw the driver, out of his truck, standing over the three girls. Not only did he not render aid, he lied about hitting a deer and tried to hinder the man from helping the girls.

After hearing that, Leo crossed out that line and wrote a new one in the margin. Instead, he wrote that he was looking forward to talking to that young man. Leo wanted to tell him how Mariah lived, knowing that the driver was the one who knew how she died — and how she could have possibly been saved.

The original line is one of the most amazing things I have ever read. I didn’t think it was possible to think more highly of Leo, but that line made me do just that.

Forgiveness is something we should all try to offer. Forgiveness, though, is not free. It is something that has to be earned. It is something that has to be deserved.

Forgiveness also doesn’t mean absolution. A price has to be paid for taking a life, even if it seems impossible to place a price on such a thing.

I didn’t know Austin, but I recognized him when I saw his picture. I remember seeing him cheering on his classmates at Butte Central during sporting events. I remember him wrestling for the Maroons.

The morning after his death, I talked to one of his close friends. The devastation on his face told me everything I needed to know. We lost someone we never should have lost.

It is a tragedy beyond words. 

I have never met the driver, but I know people who have. I know she was a success story growing up. Her parents were both 16 when she was born, and neither graduated high school.

While the deck was stacked against the girl, she worked hard and got good grades. She earned a full-ride academic scholarship to Montana Tech, one of the best academic institutions in the world.

It is not up to me if she is granted forgiveness for her actions — and lack thereof — on July 3. But her story makes me sad, too.

I am sad that young men and women — and even some who are much older — don’t realize how easy it is to ruin their lives. They don’t realize how easily they can ruin or end the lives of others.

That is on display almost every summer night when I walk around Big Butte with my dogs before dark. Young men and women gather in the parking lot, and so many of them race in their vehicles up and down the road to the Big M from Oro Fino Gulch Road.

I couldn’t say if they are drinking alcohol or just being kids, but I am amazed that someone hasn’t been killed or seriously injured on that mountain.

It seems like it is only a matter of time. You can probably go up there tonight and see it for yourself.

Mariah’s Challenge has helped change the mindset for many people in our community and beyond. It has, without question, saved lives. Mine is one of them.

But it hasn’t changed things nearly enough in the almost 16 years since the senseless death of young Mariah.

Not helping the matter is the severe shortage of things for our young people to do. I grew up in a time when we had a minor league baseball team, a real mall, two movie theaters and a drive-in theater that was open seven nights each week in the summer.

My parents and grandparents grew up going to the Columbia Gardens.

Today, there is not much for the kids to do other than get in their cars and goof off. Butte has turned into the song “Small Town Saturday Night” by Hal Ketchum.

Everything seems to be closed down by 8 p.m.

No, that doesn’t excuse these actions. But it should help us understand them. It should also help us start to change them.

Kids need something to do around here. What that is, I don’t know. My next birthday will be my 50th, and my kids will tell you I am incredibly out of touch with the youth of today.

The truth is we also need to do something to change this deadly mindset that is passed down from generation to generation. Like with the death of Mariah, we need to make sure something good can come out of the death of young Austin.

He deserves so much better. Our kids deserve so much better.

A good start would be changing our mentality so our immediate thoughts are to identify with the victim of a tragedy before the accused.

— Bill Foley can be reached at foles74@gmail.com. Follow him at twitter.com/Foles74. Listen to the ButteCast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you find your favorite podcasts.