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No. 222: Shari Curtis and Travis Cray

Shari Curtis works in a profession that has suddenly come under attack in these crazy times.
She is a librarian.
Shari is the adult services librarian at the Butte-Silver Bow Public Library. She is behind the great “First Fridays” series that brings in interesting speakers from around the state on the first Friday of each month.
That series drew some bigtime attention last year when transgender speaker Adria Jawort was barred from speaking by our local government. The publicity of that move by our local leaders led to Jawort giving her talk in front of a much larger crowd later on at the Carpenter’s Union Hall a little while later.
In addition to her work at the library, Shari has worked to put a stop to hate in the Mining City. She started a Facebook group called “Not In Our Town, Butte, MT.”
In August, that group held a rally to combat the incidents of masked white supremist spreading hate in town.
Through it all, Shari’s husband Travis Cray has been by her side.
Travis grew up in Vermont, while Shari grew up in Bozeman. Together, they have their dream home — which is still a work in progress — and have no plans to ever leave Butte.
Listen in to this podcast to hear Shari talk about her work at the library and her advocacy against hate. Listen to hear Shari and Travis talk about how they met and how they got engaged.
Today’s podcast is presented by Leskovar Honda, home of the 20-year, 200,000-mile warrantee.
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My third-grade teacher was worth more than any professional athlete

Once we live through this long national nightmare that is the Yankees and Dodgers playing in the World Series, we will enter the crazy season of sports.
That is when we will see baseball players command salaries that are almost beyond our comprehension.
Last year, the Dodgers signed Shohei Ohtani to a 10-year, $700 million contract. By mid-December, we will likely see Juan Soto sign a contract that is close to that amount. He might even surpass the contract the Dodgers gave Ohtani, and he’ll probably go to the Dodgers.
Then, I will probably bite and get involved in a Facebook argument about athletes being paid too much. The fact is, they are not paid too much.
If anything, Ohtani is underpaid for the amount of money he has made for the Dodgers and Major League Baseball.
The reason athletes are paid so much is they are worth it. They are worth it just like the big-time actors are worth the insane amount of money they get paid to make movies. They are worth it because we pay the inflated price to watch them on the silver screen.
The same goes for athletes. People pay the high prices for tickets and they drink the $15 beers at ballparks. They also pay to watch the games on television, and they buy the officially-licensed apparel.
That is why I find it puzzling that people get mad at the athletes with the big contracts, but have no problem with the rich team owners who gouge us at every turn.
Still, there is no denying that it is a shame that our societal values are so out of whack that we pay a baseball player $700 million. You would think that kind of money would instead go to the doctors, scientists and educators.
Really, if we valued our teachers more, then maybe the United States wouldn’t be ranked 27th in the world in education and No. 1 in confidence.
Ok, so not every teacher deserves to be paid Shohei Ohtani money. That would seem crazy. Nobody deserves that kind of cash, right?
Well, actually, there is one person who I feel should have been paid like that. Here name was Betty Lester, and she was my third-grade teacher.
Well, she was my second third-grade teacher, and everything I have ever accomplished is because of her. Not a day goes by that I don’t think of how Mrs. Lester changed my life.
Mrs. Lester, who passed away at 86 last month, was one of the two third-grade teachers at Kennedy Elementary School. I went to the Blaine School for kindergarten through my first year in third-grade, and I tried to stay home sick four out of five days each week from first through third grade.
Part of the problem was that I was a briefly a perfectionist. I thought I had to get 100 percent on every assignment and every test. Then, one day in first grade, I snapped.
I couldn’t come up with the answer to a math problem on a test. I asked my buddy Brian, who was sitting to my right, if he knew the answer. Brian responded as he should have. He turned his body to shield his paper so I couldn’t see.
Tears started to fill my eyes before I thought, “The heck with it. The answer is seven.” Then I just made up a number for the rest of the test and turned it in.
For the next two and a half years, I was always the first one done with time tests in math. I would just randomly write numbers down at the bottom of each problem and then put my head down on the desk.
I did the same for science, English and social studies. The only subject I worked hard at was gym class.
It was my educational phase where I treated school like Peter treated work on the classic movie “Office Space.” I didn’t get the answers right, and I could not possibly care less.
My mom cared, and I think the teachers cared. But I sure as heck didn’t give a rip if I got an A or an F on a test. I just served my time until the bell rang each day to set me free.
Then I met Mrs. Lester.
The Blaine closed down after my first time around third grade in 1983. I went to third grade again at the Kennedy during the 1983-84 school year.
All summer long, I dreaded going to school — even more than usual. I was going to a new school, and at some point, my friends were going to find out that I was held back.
Or, as Bill Grant so eloquently put it, “Foley funked. Foley flunked. Ha ha, Foley flunked.”
On the first bus ride to Kennedy, I sat next to my best friend Chris. He talked about how he hoped we’d be in the same class and how we were going to have a great fourth grade together.
I just sat there in silence. I didn’t know how to tell him I was still a third grader. Somehow, I avoided the topic during the 300 or so times we played baseball together that summer.
He couldn’t believe it when we had to line up by grade when the morning bell went off. While he stood in the fourth-grade line, I went to the third-grade line.
As much as I agonized over that moment, though, it turned out to be one of the best things that happened to me. I got a new lease on school thanks to Mrs. Lester.
In Mrs. Lester’s class, school was fun. I looked forward to Monday mornings the most because that is when we all had to tell Mrs. Lester about our weekend. She would have us in stitches with her silly responses.
As it turns out, liking school makes it easier to learn.
I can’t say that Mrs. Lester was better at teaching reading, writing and arithmetic than my first third-grade teacher. She just created an atmosphere where I was happier. Much happier. She made me feel special.
That led to a better fourth-grade experience, which led to a better year in fifth grade.
I had a handful of teachers who really went above and beyond to help lead me to where I am today. Dan Piazzola was the strict sixth-grade teacher who prepared us for junior high. Diane Johnson, who is still affectionately known as “Ms. O,” was an outstanding math teacher who made each day of junior high school bearable.
In high school, I had teachers like Julie Seedhouse, Char Davis and Georgine Cachola to really guided me toward my career path. At Montana Tech, Tom Lester (Mrs. Lester’s husband) left his mark as my sociology professor, even though he tried to talk me out of a career in journalism.
“What do you have against eating?” he once asked me.
At the University of Montana, I was lucky enough to have Mike Laslovich, the best political science teacher ever and an Anaconda guy to boot. I also had journalism mentors like Sharon Barrett, who brought out the best in my writing, along with Dennis Swibold and Frank Allen, the dean.
If you add up all the money those teachers and professors made over their entire careers, it wouldn’t pay for one year of Shohei Ohtani to hit a baseball. It wouldn’t even get you a decent utility infielder.
Yet, each one of those teachers — and many more — made more of an impact on my life than any baseball, football or basketball player ever could.
It really is too bad that the great teachers in our lives are just not paid like the superstars that they are.
If they were, Mrs. Lester would have been the world’s first trillionaire.
— Bill Foley, who will always be thankful he got to the chance to tell Mrs. Lester how much she meant to him before she passed away, can be reached at foles74@gmail.com. Follow him at twitter.com/Foles74. Listen to him on the ButteCast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you find your favorite podcasts.
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Podcast No. 221: Mark Parvinen

If you listen to the ButteCast, you have likely heard the Mariah’s Challenge public service announcement from Mark Parvinen.
Parv was one of the very first to accept Mariah’s Challenge. He was inspired to do so when he went to a Butte High-Anaconda basketball doubleheader. He wanted to see the Class AA No. Bulldog girls take on the No. 1 Class A Copperheads.
He didn’t realize that decision would change his life forever.
As luck would have it, that just so happened to be the night that Leo McCarthy launched Mariah’s Challenge, just a few months after his daughter, Mariah, was killed by an underage drunk driver.
Mark said he was an out-of-shape guy who drank too much. Way too much. He called himself a 240-pound bourbon junkie. (Read a story Mark wrote about his journey here.)
Not only did Mark give up drinking after seeing Leo’s presentation, he started to work out. That to Mark running the New York City Marathon to raise money for the Mariah Daye McCarthy Scholarship. He ran alongside his wife Jodi.
If you have followed my career, you know that Mariah’s Challenge is very near and dear to my heart. The night Mariah McCarthy was killed by an underage drunk drive in October of 2007 was also the last night I had even a sip of alcohol.
Hearing the news that my friend lost his 14-year-old daughter destroyed my desire to drink. It made me take a long look in the mirror and make a change so I could become a better husband and father.
Leo’s talk at the Butte Civic Center that night in February of 2008 did the same for Mark.
Oct. 28 marks the 17th anniversary of Mariah’s death. With that, I thought it would be good time to catch up with Parv. We need to keep Mariah’s story alive.
Listen in to hear how Mariah’s Challenged changed Mark’s life for the better. Listen as we share New York Marathon stories and talk about the emotions we felt as we ran miles for Mariah.
Listen in as we talk about how we are still amazed at the courage of Leo McCarthy all these years later.
Today’s podcast is presented by Casagranda’s Steakhouse. Eat where the locals eat.
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The girl who changed my life

One of the most influential people in my life was a 14-year-old girl whom I never talked to.
Unfortunately, I will never have the chance to, either.
That girl was Mariah McCarthy, a Butte girl who was killed by an underage drunk driver early in the morning of Oct. 28, 2007. She was hit by a truck as she and two friends walked home on what was thought to be a safe walking trail along Blacktail Lane.
Mariah was the daughter of my friend Leo McCarthy, whom I usually ran into at Montana Tech football games.
The news of the three Butte girls spread around town as I was watching the Chicago Bears lose a game with my dad at my parents’ house. My friend Davey Dunmire texted, and I assumed it was about how poorly the Bears were playing like usual.
This time, though, Davey told me about the tragedy, and he had the names of the three girls. They were three familiar names, but I didn’t think the girls with those names I knew were that old.
I thought Leo’s youngest daughter was still only 7 or 8. I always seem to be surprised by how quickly children grow up.
My heart dropped when my mom hung up the phone and said, “Leo McCarthy’s daughter was the girl who was killed.”
That split second changed my life forever.
My daughter was 4 at the time, and we were just a couple of weeks away from welcoming her little brother into the world.
The thought of losing my daughter, who was running around her grandparents’ house playing with cousins, was one that I just couldn’t deal with. So, I grabbed her every time she came running by my chair. I hugged her, kissed her and told her how much I love her to the point that I was bugging her.
That night, I went back to my parents’ house to watch the Boston Red Sox win the World Series with my dad. Even a victory by my favorite team could not ease the pain I felt for my friend or the terrible thoughts that were rattling around my brain.
A thought that was almost as scary was this: I could have been the driver behind the wheel. Or, I could be the dad who shows his children that it is normal to drive home after drinking alcohol, and someday they could be that driver.
The acceptance of drinking and driving is a learned behavior, and I could not live with myself if my children learned such a thing from me. As it was, I was heading in the direction of teaching my children exactly that.
So, in the early morning hours of Oct. 28, 2007 was when I took my last drink of alcohol.
I covered the Montana Tech-Montana Western football game that Saturday for The Montana Standard. After a shift of nearly 12 hours, I walked down from the newsroom for a few beers at Maloney’s Bar to unwind.
That was an act that I did way more than I would care to admit. I drank as many beers as I could until the bartender told us we had to leave, and then I would drive my car home.
It was something all of us did. When someone was pinched for driving drunk, we resented the police officer who made the arrest, as if the drunk driver was the victim of tyranny.
Four days later, on Nov. 1, I stood in the back of St. Ann’s Church and watched Leo deliver an incredible eulogy for his daughter.
After nearly 17 years, I am still amazed by the strength and courage that took. During his talk, Leo looked at the heartbroken friends of his daughter and made a promise. He said if they don’t drink underage and refuse to get into a car with anyone who has, he would have scholarship money for them.
He thought he was speaking just to a few friends, but everyone was listening. With that, Mariah’s Challenge was born, almost on accident.
In addition to having to deal with the difficult days around Halloween every year, the McCarthy family now relives the tragedy every spring as they hand out the Mariah Daye McCarthy Scholarship to high school seniors who live by the ideals of Mariah’s Challenge.
That has to be tough for Leo, Janice and Jenna, but they do for the future generations. They do it for their daughter and sister.
To date, the scholarship has handed out $488,000 to students Leo calls “Mariah’s Messengers.” That scholarship and that movement has also saved lives. We don’t know how many for sure, but I am positive mine is one of them.
On Friday, Nov. 2, 2007 — or it could have been Nov. 9 — I made a promise to my daughter. Ironically enough, that promise was made as we sat for lunch at the Deluxe Sports Bar.
Delaney looked at a folded-up beer advertisement on the table and said, “Ewe beer. That’s gross.”
“Yeah,” I said. “I don’t want you to ever drink that stuff.”
She said that she wouldn’t and that she didn’t want me to drink it every again, either.
“It’s a deal,” I said, and I have lived up to that promise.
I didn’t have to attend a meeting or go to rehab or anything. My daughter was motive enough.
Later this month will mark the 17th anniversary of my last drink. That is an anniversary that I mark privately, and I am damn proud of it. It is not, however, an anniversary that I brag about because I know that day is the worst for my friend and his family.
Besides, I don’t see that anniversary as being about me. It is about so much more than that. It is about a bunch of people who looked into the mirror and decided to make a change. It is about Leo leading the way to change a culture.
Mariah’s Challenge has never been about avoiding drinking all together. It has been about being responsible if and when you drink alcohol.
For me, though, I knew I had to stop altogether because I had no off switch once I started to drink. One was too many and 24 was not enough.
When I woke up on the morning of Oct. 28, 2007, I figured I would continue drinking the way I always had. Even though I embarrassed myself several times, I figured I could handle it.
I didn’t have a drinking problem, I figured. I just had a problem sometimes when I drank.
Then I heard about Mariah McCarthy and everything changed.
I never advocated for others to quit drinking because I know everyone is different, and everyone can make their own decisions. I just hope that they think about the consequences before they get behind the wheel of a car.
I just hope that you can look yourself in the mirror and know that you are a good role model for your kids. Believe me, that is a feeling I wish everyone could feel.
On Oct. 28, 2007, I was on the verge of being a divorced father of two. Today, I am still married to my best friend, and we have two daughters and a son. The youngest girl would not be here if I didn’t change in the wake of that awful tragedy.
It’s been 17 years since Mariah McCarthy changed my life and our community.
I just wish she could still be here to see it.
— Bill Foley, who is damn proud to be one of the many “Mariah’s Messangers,” can be reached at foles74@gmail.com. Follow him at twitter.com/Foles74. Listen to him on the ButteCast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you find your favorite podcasts.

















